My heart is beating fast. This is the first time in a long time that I felt this way again. Right now, all the episodes of my life where adrenaline got the best of me flashes back, as if I am living it all again. It all came rushing to me as fast as the beat of my heart…

Graduation day. You looked into my eyes, right before the ceremony started, and poured out your feelings for me. Even though I was unbelieving at first, the adrenaline came rushing to my head and I was able to brilliantly deliver my speech as the Summa Cum Laude of our batch. When I finished the speech, I scanned and searched among the faces of the audience while they gave me a standing ovation. It was not only your face that I found in the midst of that crowd then, but you, the love of my life, and that was then that I knew that I love you, too…

Marrying you. I felt the strong emotions flooded me as I clung to my father’s arm, though I was not sure if it was fear, worry or embarrassment. The doors in front of me opened and I did not notice that my steps were not in tune with the beautiful music because of my nerves. In my haste to close the distance between me and the altar, I nearly tripped over my long dress, if it weren’t for my father holding me tight to his arm. I composed myself and looked straight, and I thought it was your eyes which caused me to calm down and just relish the moment. It was then that I realized that the adrenaline rush was because of the love that brought us together at that place and time, which also helped me bring out the promises and formed them into words that I knew I will fulfill for the rest of my life…

Giving birth. The hurt in my tummy was killing me. I was transferred into a different hospital; the reason, I don’t know. Or care. I just wanted them to take away the pain. As if that was not enough, they told me to wait a little longer for the stretcher that will transfer me to a different room. Maybe it was because of the pain which was too much for me or the worry that my baby couldn’t take it any longer, I jumped out of the bed and screamed to the nurses to assist me to the room. What I remembered to happen next was looking at you holding our beautiful daughter, Andrea. You were there all along; you watched us (me and our daughter) and I knew that you were proud of us with the courage that we both showed you that time.

Protecting her. You were still at work when the burglar broke into our home. I was afraid and I did not know what to do. He had a knife and he was asking me to give him the code to our vault. I thought Andrea was asleep but I was shocked to see her running to the thief. I screamed but the man was faster than me. He grabbed Andrea and threatened to hurt her if I didn’t give him what he wanted. That was when I blacked out and the next thing I knew was that you were pulling me off the man and stopping me from stabbing his eye with his own knife. I realized I was bleeding and I remember you telling me that it was the bravest thing that I did just to protect our daughter.

After all those years, I never imagined that those feelings will come back to me, until today.

It’s your birthday. I plan to surprise you by showing up at your office but I’m the one who was surprised as I saw you at the other side of the street, waving at me. I waited for the signal to turn green. I waited with contentment in my heart, knowing that in just 33 seconds, I will be closing the distance between us.

With 10 seconds still left before the go-signal, I found myself crossing the street to push an unknown child, who crossed a little too early, out of the way of a ten-wheeler truck. I quickly looked at you again and saw your eyes fill with horror. I felt the beating of my heart as it became faster than the seconds ticking at the signal. 1, 2, 3, 4. Faster it went until I lost count, and then everything went black…

Photo from Google


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