So… I think I’m wallowing. I despise this feeling. I hate to show my pessimism to other people because it shows that I’m weak, I have a lot of fears and insecurities, and that I’m not matured enough. I’m also aware that this negative mood is catching so I might affect someone or it might cause them to repel me which I wanted the least. So, I just always pretend – which I know is a very unhappy word and is used mostly on sad reading material. But please, just please, allow me to use that a-bit-depressing-cliché and pardon me for this one post to briefly pour out my sentiment in this point of time in my life.
People think that I have the best in life. Screw that. I don’t! Or is it just my negative perspective? I’m not sure anymore. What I am sure is that I am not having the fulfillment anymore with most of the things that I do. Is it just because I do not really belong to that place and what I am doing is really not for me? Am I just overthinking things or am I starting to lose my sanity?
I can easily appreciate other things and other people but why the heck do I find it hard to appreciate the things that I do? Does this make sense at all? I’m not sure. What I just want to ask (myself or anyone who would be kind enough to care and read this) is: how will I find my worth? All I ever want is to know my worth because I sure as hell don’t see it now in this place.
Forgive me, reader. That’s all. Also, I appreciate you for clicking on this blog and caring to read my sad, selfish and somewhat not-so-important sentiment.