Am I beginning to lose my sanity?

So… I think I’m wallowing. I despise this feeling. I hate to show my pessimism to other people because it shows that I’m weak, I have a lot of fears and insecurities, and that I’m not matured enough. I’m also aware that this negative mood is catching so I might affect someone or it might cause them to repel me which I wanted the least. So, I just always pretend – which I know is a very unhappy word and is used mostly on sad reading material. But please, just please, allow me to use that a-bit-depressing-cliché and pardon me for this one post to briefly pour out my sentiment in this point of time in my life.

People think that I have the best in life. Screw that. I don’t! Or is it just my negative perspective? I’m not sure anymore. What I am sure is that I am not having the fulfillment anymore with most of the things that I do. Is it just because I do not really belong to that place and what I am doing is really not for me? Am I just overthinking things or am I starting to lose my sanity?

I can easily appreciate other things and other people but why the heck do I find it hard to appreciate the things that I do? Does this make sense at all? I’m not sure. What I just want to ask (myself or anyone who would be kind enough to care and read this) is: how will I find my worth? All I ever want is to know my worth because I sure as hell don’t see it now in this place.

Forgive me, reader. That’s all. Also, I appreciate you for clicking on this blog and caring to read my sad, selfish and somewhat not-so-important sentiment.


4 thoughts on “Am I beginning to lose my sanity?

  1. Hope your past this. But if i have to answer your question, i say stop looking at lives of other people. There is no point in doing this. Either you envy others or you become too proud of yourself. This is coming from a person who had struggled with the same dilemma.

  2. Hey, you are well worthy. You are God’s wonderful and special princess! 🙂 Surround yourself with good people and let those people reveal your worth for you.

    • hi! Thanks for dropping by my blog. And thanks for the advice. I wrote this a year ago and I am now happy to inform that I am out enjoying God’s blessings and slowly realizing my worth through God’s grace. Thanks a lot! ☺

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