I was sitting in my bed, staring at them intently.
I smiled because what I did was funny.
I decided I wanted to look at them all
And now, they almost cover up the wall.
I once thought of them as unimportant
But what I realized was just blatant.
Though I can’t keep them with me forever,
They became a part of my life for as long as I can remember.
They watched as I first took sight of this world,
How I was raised by my parents the way I should.
They’ve seen what I looked like when I was four,
When I started reading, writing, and more.
They knew almost all my achievements at school.
And even some of the times when I was like a fool.
They even revealed to me things I didn’t know
And the instances that I won’t forget wherever I go.
They are the witnesses of my accomplishments,
They saw my grief and all my torments.
They are a desperate attempt, one of those ways,
To steal something from death’s suitcase.
They were there when I was rejoicing.
They made me remember every single thing.
Whenever I’m with them, I find pleasure.
Yes, because they hold the things that I treasure.
They capture different moments of my existence.
They bring up those moments again and their essence.
It’s not the actual photographs that I treasure the most
But the memories that go with them as time goes.
Some say dreams are like fragile glass. Once you woke up, it would turn to nothing but million shattered pieces of broken glass, so impossible to be next to reality…
Mine looked so true. How come they looked so real? So real like I am living on it that I nearly believed it… only to be disenchanted when I finally awoke. I tried to think of it as nothing, only a part of my being, like everyone can dream what I just had; only a fantasy. I tried to put it out of my mind, to forget it. But I know at the back of my mind that I’m hoping it would turn to reality: a wishful thinking. Still, I tried very hard to fill my mind with other things just to cover the reverie that kept coming back. I struggled to forget it, simply to fail because it will all come back to me when I am unconscious again. I then wondered how and why dreams work while we’re asleep.
That same time, I never gave up my wishful thinking. Like a heroine in a fairy tale, I sat by the window and waited. For a while, I became tired of waiting when I realized that I am waiting for something that will never come to pass. Only then did I understand that what I am doing was childish. I have always liked fairy tales but it was back then when I was a little girl that I believed them. Now I know they are just stories from eclectic imaginations. It was long ago when I was a child that I became afraid of nightmares and had faith in my dreams. Now I know they are from my own contemplation before I go to sleep.
Remorse… I have wasted all the time in sitting and waiting and wishing. How foolish of me to allow that withered time to pass so dully while I knew perfectly that I can do something. Yet, I felt relief because of a new thought: I could do something to make things more wonderful than dreams and fairy tales…
I never imagined this point of time will come to my life. I can’t help the tears spill along my cheeks as the past came back to me.
Everything in my past started to rewind in my mind. I can’t see what’s in front of me but blurry visions. They seem to go in unison with the beautiful music that filled the air as I took a step forward…
I grew up with my parents separated since I was born – a typical family. I was the only child. I never felt the love of my father or even my mother with whom I grew up. That’s what I thought back then. So even though they gave me everything I needed as much as I wanted, I grew up as a rebellious child. I tried different things; I befriended the people you see in the streets wasting their lives on vices, premarital sex, and drugs. I ran away from my parents, and for a long time I lived a life like what you can call “wasted”. None of my so-called “friends” welcomed me or even lent me a shoulder. I was left all alone inside a dark, rotting apartment. I stayed there for as long as I could take to bring all the blame and hate to myself.
In that dark room, things started to become clear to me. I realized I needed to go on with my life even if it was dead wasted. I got a decent work in a super market but then, life became hard for me as a person who got used to an easy life. With that, I never forgave myself for the miserable life that I led.
There, I met him. To make the story short, he was the one who became my only friend. Life began to have meaning again as he taught me to forgive myself. He welcomed me despite of my soiled past; he accepted me for who I am. It’s like the melody started to fill my life again.
The visions faded as I saw his face, smiling at me. I walked slowly down the aisle, one step at a time, with the beautiful music accompanying me to his side…